What the heck is going on here?

I have way too many thoughts in my head right now. For one, why am I typing in brown? And what is this font? And should I just leave it, it seems to want to be here.  And now you see why i feed so many stray cats! (ED - woohoo, Georgia again! But i like it brown, so ta dahh)

For those of you who don't know What The Heck is Going on Here, you get the short version today! You're welcome, here to help. And i'm in pain today, which does help with brevity.   I lived in a very sweet townhouse for two years which my awesome mom paid for - she gave up her Social Security money (ow, that's hard to type. Once i told her i was really wrestling with accepting such a gift. When asked why, i said "I don't know if i'm worth it" or something that now seems lame, especially in the face of "I'm your MOM. This is what Moms do. You're welcome")

sorry, i write like i talk. 

So after almost two years of living with my Dandy Lions Kate and Buffy in our own happy house, my Mom told me that we just couldn't afford my apartment any more  and she and my dad needed me to "come home". I was in a world of denial about this,  was convinced that something would happen at the 11th Hour to save my house, especially since my parents' house wasn't a great place for me to be (MORE on this later. I promise). But i realized i needed to do this and not have a cruddy attitude about it, because - well - that is what Daughters do. Unless you're of the Veruca Salt variety.

Yikes. PRO side of my not getting to have kids: Not having that kid. 


So we packed up my house. It really was a house, a home. I'm an excellent bargain hunter and had found this sleeper hit tucked away in an apartment complex behind a Sonic. 1200 square feet, fenced in patio, endless amounts of stray cats who needed feeding... for very little rent. (I love how everyone makes the same sound when i tell them how little it was!) It had its down sides, but it was mine and i'm shutting up now because i miss it so much. 

But my dad had had a heart attack, and i learned that his medications 1) weren't covered by insurance and 2) were about the price of my rent.  Not even Veruca would withhold heart attack meds from her Dad. And my Mom worked really hard to make the side of the house i would live in look apartmenty, even going to Claremore to pick up my Grandmother's Breakfront so I could still have my dishes. Which was quite a dishy thing to do.  She knew how hard i had worked in those 2 years to get strong and be independent, and how afraid I was of ending up back in bed at my parents' house for the rest of my life. 


So i slept  the first night there and was awakened very early the next day... My boxes were there.

:(

What happened NEXT? This blog, which is only a day old, is about to become something else, because instead of just telling you what happens day by day on this Journey, i needed to back up and explain why i am now in a friend of my Mom's son's house, grateful but missing my Kitty Girls terribly and more things that will make enormous amounts of sense soon.  Again, long story short, but my parents' house, especially the side i was in, is full of mold.  Reeks of the stuff, which is what i now imagine Hell smells like. Mold and dust are my two worst allergies. I had a college class in a basement (Mikel, you know what i'm talking about) and walked out every day with a massive headache. I figured back then it was just my seething dislike of that school. But now - ohyeahmold. 


Sorry, i seem to keep defaulting to the Very Long Version.


The mold (and the dust) was too much for my system and i had just a MASSIVE asthma attack. I thought i had had one before, but this scared me to death. And not much health-wise scares me. It ticks me off, but i know i won't actually die from it.  Keep in mind that i have been chronically ill for 20 years and have had pretty much every part of my body betray me at one point or another. We can start with the A's. Anemia, Arthritis, Asthma.... you get the picture. 


I have to say something here that i will just say once, but it has to be said. I don't talk about health stuff to gain pity, unless i expressly say "I really need some pity today". It's just about educating and helping you guys know what is up. EXplaining, not COMplaining.

More later as i have been sitting on this one fer-ever trying to make it all perfecty. And  that's just silly :)